MONDAY: If this article were running two months ago, I'd say go to Lani Kai, where Brian Miller's "Tiki Mondays" was the best Monday-night party in town, and the most vibrant expression of Tiki culture in the city. But, seeing as how Lani Kai has shuttered, direct your feet instead to Williamsburg's Counting Room, where every Monday mixologist extraordinaire Maks Pazuniak presents his ever-changing "something like this" cocktail menu. The basement stools are often occupied by other in-the-know bartenders. What you don't know about bitters and amari, Maks will teach you.

TUESDAY: There aren't many cocoons of old fashioned New York saloon glamour left in the city, but at Bemelmans Bar, tucked inside the luxurious Carlyle Hotel, you can briefly feel like you're living in 1950s Manhattan. Sadly, 53-year veteran bartender Tommy Rowles retired this past spring. But the elegantly retro Loston Harris Trio still plays every Tuesday through Saturday. If you like your drinking more downscale, try the reliable pub Swift in the East Village. On Tuesdays, you can buy a half a dozen oysters and a Guinness for $12. (As a general rule of thumb, Irish pubs should be avoided on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, as they are almost always either Trivia Night or Karaoke Night.)

WEDNESDAY: At the superlative Upper West Side wine bar Tangled Wine, Wednesday is "Winesday." Any bottle on the list—and it's a good list—is eligible for opening and pouring by the glass, if you can commit to two glasses. And who can't commit to two glasses? Later in the evening, retreat to Cobble Hill's Clover Club, where Wednesday is a particularly convivial night, thanks to the jazz croonings of Bryl-creemed Michael Arenella, a man so in love with the past he wears period duds, toe to top.

FRIDAY: Sunny's is an old, unchanged tavern in the far corner of Red Hook (near Fairway). Currently, it is closed, owing to Hurricane Sandy's wrath. But, fingers crossed, it will soon be back in business, and following its own erratic schedule. And it will need your business! The owner—great-grandson of the founder—only opens on nights he chooses. One of those nights is Friday, beginning at 8 PM. (The other evening is Wednesday.) Bottled beer is what you'll be drinking. An antique maritime atmosphere is what you'll be soaking in. Painters and writers are your fellow barflies. Sometimes there is music, or a poetry reading. If you want something more Manhattan-centric (and can get a reservation), try Milk & Honey, if only to enjoy the sturdy double act of longtime bartenders Sammy Ross and Michael McIlroy. The space will soon reopen as Attaboy, but Sam and Mickey will still be there.

SATURDAY: If you're a New Yorker and, for whatever unfortunate reason, you find yourself in Times Square on a Saturday night, your natural instinct is to duck in some place where the tourists won't find you. Your best bet is Jimmy's Corner on W. 44th Street between Sixth and Seventh. Run by former boxing coach Jimmy Glenn, it's one of the last dives in the area and a refuge from the vulgar indignities of Red Lobster and Bloomberg's pedestrian plazas. Killer juke box, too. If you want to get even further away, go to the century-old Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden in Astoria, where, in fair weather, there's usually something musical going on every Saturday.