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Amanda Smeltz and Carlo Mirarchi Head to Five Guys to Drink Wine on the Sly

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The right beverages can enhance any food. We asked several wine pros to pair up wines with a meal of cheap eats. Here's the first report from Amanda Smeltz, the wine director of Roberta's/Blanca.

[All photos by Amanda Smeltz.]
[All photos by Amanda Smeltz.]

Amanda Smeltz: Here's how it went down: I had it all planned out to go to Mamoun's, but then my dear sweet Jefe #1 Carlo found out about my plans and wanted in. I told him I planned to bring the very beautiful Vouette & Sorbée "Saignée de Sorbée" Extra Brut Rosé Champagne and also El Maestro Sierra's 1830 Amontillado. Carlo was thrilled to be included in this ploy, but insisted we go to Five Guys.

He loves Five Guys.

We also knew it would only be right to saber the bubbles on the sidewalk outside of Five Guys. There we were, noon today on Bleecker and 7th Ave, just a-slicing that bottle open. You're welcome, tourists. I provide you with a video, mostly for your personal enjoyment. We left our cambro outside; both bottles went in my purse.

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Please notice my very elegant pour into our fine Roberta's Dino Jams cups. We're currently serving our Frozen Drank out of those bad boys.

I don't think anyone working at Five Guys spotted our dastardly deeds, but that guy in the background of my pouring photo definitely did. He wasn't feeling us.

We housed two delicious double bacon cheeseburgers with jalapeños, pickles, and American cheese-- the peppers are crucial, as they totally make the beautiful red fruit flavors of the V&S pop: underripe strawberry, sun-dried tomato, cranberry, you get it. The Champagne, however, was not delicious with the weird blend of ketchup and malt vinegar that Carlo was all about. Vinegar and corn syrup are real bad with very dry red-rosé bubbles, turns out. Our brown paper bag of French fries was exquisite with the Maestro Sierra 1830 — beautifully aged Amontillado and thick-cut fries, skins still on, crucial.

Our actually very satisfying meal only set us back around $22 — roughly $9 each for the double bacon cheeseburgers and $3.19 for a regular order of fries.

I provide you with an image of New York City garbage and us disposing elegantly of our bottles:

Bonus footage: After half a bottle of Champagne and Amontillado each, the cab ride back to Bushwick was super refined. That's me & Carlo singing along to the Mos Eisley Cantina song. I'm using the cambro as an amplifier for my iPhone:

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