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NIMBY Writes Bitchy Fake Review of City Hall Denny's

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Although nobody reads the reviews on NYC.com, some anonymous NIMBY decided to write a bitchy mock-review of the Denny's on Nassau Street, which has not opened yet. As you may recall, the residents of 150 Nassau filed a $10 million lawsuit against the operators of the restaurant in an attempt to block its opening. But the Denny's crew settled the case last month, and now the team is trying to secure a liquor license for New York's first location of the chain. The operators are also trying to woo the neighbors with the promise of swanky leather banquettes and mood lighting.

But one NIMBY is not feeling it. From the review:

Denny's offers a menu of classic American comfort food, the sort of things your mom used to make for breakfast, and a panoply of diner entrees, all completely devoid of the love and care that makes food worth eating. Remember that time you thought the spaghetti from the Play-Dough factory looked super edible, but when you ate it, you were filled with nausea and regret? Some mistakes you just never get too old to make.
In a bizarre twist, this is not listed as a user review, but rather an editorial review. So, perhaps someone at NYC.com has a bone to pick with the Denny's people. Here's the full rant:

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The review:

This is an error message. It would seem that you have tried to look up information about the Denny's restaurant in the Financial District, but that can't be right. In a city with some of the best dining options in the world—including actual greasy spoon diners—you're looking up Denny's for one reason or another. Maybe you're drunk and need somewhere to eat late at night to absorb the alcohol. That's understandable. The Financial District isn't known for its all-night dining options, but they do exist. And you're in New York City, anyway. There are cabs and buses and trains. You could make it to French Roast in Greenwich Village in 15 minutes. Veselka's vaunted dining room is 20 minutes away, tops. The point is, you don't need a Moons Over My Hammy right now. No matter what your stomach is telling you. Your stomach has no neurons—it is a stupid organ, if ever there was a stupid organ. Denny's offers a menu of classic American comfort food, the sort of things your mom used to make for breakfast, and a panoply of diner entrees, all completely devoid of the love and care that makes food worth eating. Remember that time you thought the spaghetti from the Play-Dough factory looked super edible, but when you ate it, you were filled with nausea and regret? Some mistakes you just never get too old to make.

But maybe you're looking up Denny's because you can't believe such a sub-par chain restaurant is opening a location in New York City. And, allowing that oddity, that it's opening up nowhere near Times Square. Yeah, it's weird. But the more you think about it, the more real it becomes. This is a reverse Tinkerbell situation we have here. If we simply don't believe, maybe the Denny's will go away. After all, we all clicked our collective heels and the IHOP in the Village was no more.


· Denny's [NYC.com]
· All Coverage of Denny's [~ENY~]

Denny's

150 Nassau St., New York, NY

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