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The Worst Filtered Yelp Reviews For Shitshow Week Vets

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Yelp uses a mysterious filtering software to separate user-submitted reviews that don't "make the cut." Although they don't land on the main section of the site, you can still read them, and they are often hilarious.

Here are the worst filtered Yelp reviews for a handful of Shitshow Week veterans, including Ninja, At Vermilion, and sweet, sweet Shang:

At Vermilion:
One customer questions the management: “Beautiful place. Manager needs to find another career. The place is very well designed and should be packed on a friday evening yet only about 15% of tables were occupied. We wondered why that would be, and it immediately become obvious...

1. Service was atrocious. Staff were polite, but completely unaware of how to do their job.

2. Ordered a bottle of wine. Waiter tried to sneak in one 3 years younger without telling us. Manager then let us know that both would be the same price. ? Really. Isn't that something like fraud?

3. Ordered second different bottle, and different waiter brought out a wine from a different year, different grape and totally different country. Sounds ridiculous? Yes, I could hardly believe it. But by the time the second erroneous bottle of wine arrived we had already finished our appetizers so I accepted it. It seemed as though the waiters were going across town to some liquor store to get the wine it was taking so long.

4. Duck arepas were excellent. Other meat dishes were pretty good. Vegetarian thali was not good.

5. Staff never asked us if we wanted coffee or any other drinks. Which in hindsight was probably good, because I wonder what I would have received if I had ordered coffee, (OJ?, Tea?, or even a beer? by accident) I fault the manager for this debacle. Only when the manager is useless can the staff be so haphazard and untrained.”

One customer is disappointed by the lack of ninja tricks: “I honestly had really high hopes for this place! The idea seems so great!! Our waitress sucked never brought us any water, nor did a single ninja trick. The sushi sucked.... Then they brought out my steak burned to a crisp tasting like gasoline(I asked for medium done) I re-ordered lamb chops which were brought in so raw they were purple. The waitress tried to charge me for my main course, after screwing up twice! I am so disappointed with the food and the service.”

Another customer suffers minor injuries: “YOU WANT TO GET SLICED IN THE NECK WITH A FAKE NINJA SWORD...... I would have to say i would NEVER go back to this restaurant. It was very gimmicky and far from impressive.
Cannot enjoy your meal because every second there is someone trying to sneak up behind you and scare you.”

Ca Va:
One customer rates the saltiness of their food: “Terrible service and saltiest food I ever had!!!!! CORBINE CRU---- Salty X 100000 HAND ROLLED PENNE --- Salty X 10000 POULE BBQ --- Salty X 1000 BLUEBERRY-LEMON CHEESECAKE --- Sour X 10000 Their service is not as a fine dining restaurant. The servicers are very very very unprofessional.”

A birthday party disaster: "The worst experience and probably the worst food I ever had. I went there on a Saturday night for a dear friend 30th birthday party, with 9 other friends . Reservation time 9 seated a 9:30 (that's the only nice part) . Everything went downhill after that... Tuna tartars(gross), appetizers coming in different sequence . In between we had flag our server to get another round of drinks, ask for silverware , the busser knocked over my champagne and literally ran off(I wish I was making it up), we ha dry ourselves AND ask for napkins. That wasn't enough, the sushi rolls ( my dragon roll was saggy ) that were main courses for 3 ppl came 10 mn AFTER the duck ( bland ) steaks and chicken main courses. I could have had better Chinese food from the corner. I have had enough by then..I asked an Asian lady to get me the floor manager, she said "right away" and she never did. I got up a second time and found the manager and explain the mess again we were seated at630 and by 11:15 we wanted to get out of here. For a Saturday night the place w dead ( there 3 large booths open the entire time we were there ) Manager was nice a send a champagne toast and comped a $3O bottle of wine off the then we had a sour taste in our mouth.

By far the worst food and experience your money, go for drinks ( not the sake which I was told was dry and was sweet instead!!!!)
I was just reading other ppl review..and sure enough me and 2 friends were feeling queasy for the next 24 hrs.. Just a disgrace"

One customer blames the acoustics: “I just don't understand why he clings to this former Kefi spot on 79th street. It's a smart transformation of the space, but it's still cramped, with low ceilings, and cavernous (in not so good a way). Worst of all, it's acoustically miserable. I love activity in a restaurant, a certain amount of ambient conversation, laughing, etc., but there's a real din here, and again, not in a good way.”

And, as a bonus, here's a choice filtered review for JoeDoe, which has never been a part of the Shitshow Week festivities...until now: "I actually have never eaten here or anything though from the reviews I see they are considered pretty good. I'm making a comment here because recently I was next door to this place sitting outside and I saw some of the workers of Joe Doe with their friends making a lot of noise after hours. When I turned around to see what the fuss was about I saw a worker beating a baby mouse with a broom. The employee beat the mouse to a flattened pancake in front of the store. After that the workers and their friends were really insensitive about it and laughing. Trust me, I'm not an animal activist or some sort of bleeding heart. I understand the fact that there is a rodent problem and that mice can be a pest, but it was really distasteful the way they did it considering there were people outside at the neighboring restaurant next door. yuck. no class."
· All Coverage of Shitshow Week [~ENY~]

— Research by Ashley Mason.


187 Orchard St., New York, NY