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Drunk Santas Plot Strategic Assault on New York City

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Photo: SantaCon

With less than two days to go before the start of SantaCon, the Drunk Santas are organizing and mobilizing. The SantaCon command center just released the official map of the New York City bars and restaurants where these crusty Kris Kringles will be congregating. (Note: The official SantaCon site contains a photo of a guy wearing a reindeer-shaped banana hammock.) The reign of schnapps-fueled terror will start in Hell's Kitchen, then progress to Midtown, and then move south to the East Village. After sundown, the Drunk Santas will jump the East River and sweep through the bars and restaurants of North Brooklyn.

From the official SantaCon battle plan: "Pussy Santas are down by dark. Those who can hold their own hit Williamsburg for Bedford Ave posing, gastropub red-nosing, and the best after party since Mrs. Claus lost her panties atop the North Pole."

Remember: If you own or operate a bar or restaurant in any of these zones, you don't have to put up with these boozed-up bozos. Just download one of Eater's "No Drunk Santas" signs and put it in the window of your establishment. It might be the only way to keep the peace on SantaCon Saturday.
· All Coverage of SantaCon [~ENY~]

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