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Are you afraid of looking like an uneducated, uncultured slob around your foodie friends because you haven't been to some of New York's most popular restaurants? Have no fear: here's a list of things to say about five new hot spots that everyone is talking about. You can choose from safe bet responses where you don't actually have to lie, half-truths that will help you keep the conversation going, or huge fibs that will make you look like a bona fide culinary know-it-all. Use one or all of them — nobody will call your bluff.
There are four types of responses to choose from: The Honest Abe (no lying involved), The Safe Bet (some lying involved), The Dedicated Gourmand (lots of lying, with added pretension), The Contrarian (mostly pretension, some lying involved).
The Dutch:
[Krieger]
The Honest Abe: "Who doesn't love fried chicken and ravioli? Can't wait to try it for brunch."
The Safe Bet: "You know, Carmellini created a great space and a solid menu, and the kitchen is firing on all cylinders."
The Dedicated Gourmand: "The Carms nailed the okonomiyaki, and that ribeye for two is just brilliant. But yeah, if I want lamb neck mole or barrio-style tripe, I'll just go to my favorite place in Gravesend where I won't have to wait an hour for a table."
The Contrarian: "Give me a break. Who needs more comfort food? Not me."
The Meatball Shop Williamsburg:
The Honest Abe: "Finally, the perfect drunk food spot for Williamsburg. Michael Chernow is hot."
The Safe Bet: "Those guys have a real hit on their hands. Yeah, it's crowded, but it's cheap, there are more tables than the first location, and their spicy pork meatballs are great."
The Dedicated Gourmand: "The kitchen seems a little wobbly post expansion, but the meatballs are still on-point. I usually order the vegetarian items — they're the best things on the menu."
The Contrarian: "Give me a break. Who needs more comfort food? Not me."
Empellon:
[Krieger]
The Honest Abe: "The West Village needs more great Mexican places. With Fedora just a few doors down, that stretch of West 4th street is becoming quite the hot little restaurant row."
The Safe Bet: "Mexican food from the former pastry chef of wd~50? Sign me up. I like the guacamole and the tongue tacos."
The Dedicated Gourmand: "The large format dishes are really where it's at. Stupak still needs to do a little work in the taco department, but that Kobe ribeye with chimichurri is out of this world. Oh, and the sopes. Those are awesome."
The Contrarian: "Give me a break. If I want authentic tacos, I'll get them off the back of a truck, thank you very much."
Kin Shop:
[Krieger]
The Honest Abe: "I never thought Harold Dieterle would do a Thai restaurant, but more power to him. The Perilla team strikes again."
The Safe Bet: "I love that there's a signed photo of the Beastie Boys on the wall. I could eat that pork and crispy oyster salad every day."
The Dedicated Gourmand: "I had my doubts going in, but Dieterle really got the curries right and more importantly, he's doing his own take on Thai food, not just some cookie cutter version. Sometimes I crave that squid ink soup, and the Massaman-braised goat. "
The Contrarian: "Give me a break. If I want Thai food, I'll go to Woodside where it's cheaper and better, thank you very much."
Boulud Sud:
The Honest Abe: "A really interesting choice for Daniel Boulud. With Bar Boulud right next door and Lincoln across the street, there's finally some good food near Lincoln Center."
The Safe Bet: "It was so crowded the night we went that we had to go to Epicerie Boulud next door, and that was really good. But, I can't wait to go back and try the falafel and the rabbit porchetta."
The Dedicated Gourmand: "Aaron Chambers is a talented chef. The tropezienne was one of the best vegetable dishes I've had all summer, and I really enjoyed the duck leg kataifi. The dining room is 100% DB, but still, it's easily one of the best options in the neighborhood."
The Contrarian: "Give me a break. Have you ever heard of a place called Mamoun's? That's authentic too, and a meal there only costs $2.50."
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