The Door Report Special: A Visit To Provocateur

Provocateur owner Mike Satsky famously took umbrage with the most recent Door Report, which ranked his newish Meatpacking District nightclub as the third hardest door with a Civilian Chance of Entry pegged at 18 percent, responding that Provocateur's COCE is "between .05% and .1%, depending on the time of night and the number of 9s or 10s you are with." Satsky even challenged us to "send someone to test it". Brash words. But can they back them up? The only way to find out was to actually send a civilian operative undercover to the Meatpacking District to test the COCE. Our undercover agent, who we shall call Brenda, lives in the area, likes to go out, and has gotten into many a club without a problem.

So me and my friend, let's call her Natasha, tried to go to Provocateur last night. I would say both of us are "9's," at least, according to douchebag standards. There was no line outside, two bouncers were working the rope and some chick (probably a publicist) was handling the door. Let's call her Stacy. Two girls in mini-fur coats walked in ahead of us, who were greeted warmly by Stacy. As they entered, the doorman closed the rope behind them. Our interaction went as follows:

B: "Hi, so...you're not letting anyone in?"
Stacy: "Do you have a reservation tonight?"
B: "Nope."
Stacy: "Yeah tonight I'm afraid it's reservation only ladies, the only other way would be for you to get a table but since it's only two girls..."
B: "Since it's only two girls, what?"
Stacy: "Well...you probably wouldn't want one."
(translation: we probably can't afford one)
B: "I guess not then, thanks."

Denied. On what basis? Not sure. I don't understand clubs that deny hot girls on the basis of "lack of reservation." What exactly would we have a reservation for? And the whole buying a table thing...so 10 years ago. Totally over these kinds of places.

Sounds like a rough experience all around for Brenda and Natasha. So perhaps Mr. Satsky wasn't being boastful. But we will keep sending test cases until we crack the secret riddle.
· Corrections Department: Provocateur [~ENY~]
· The Door Report [~ENY~]

Provocateur

18 Ninth Ave, New York, NY