Halloween has thankfully come and gone, and looking back, the costume affair became a shitshow rivaling the most dreaded of all New York City nights, New Year's Eve. New York should always have something for everyone, but on Halloween, especial a Saturday Halloween, the city is filled with private parties, over the top affairs, giant rip offs, and an anything goes attitude that transforms the island into a no-go zone for anyone looking to enjoy a night on the town without putting on a costume and pounding 1000 vodka sodas. Now that it's come and gone, it seemed like a good time to rank the worst nights to go out in New York. After the Eater nightlife operatives assess the aftermath of tonight's post-Yankee parade drinking marathons (there's one going on right now at McSorley's), it may need to be added to the list.
1. New Years Eve - Who wouldn't it enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on a ticket to a club just for an open vodka bar and a champagne toast at midnight? Most people. Restaurants and clubs make a killing on New Years, but with the overflow of tourists and college kids looking to get lit, the night is usually an over-hyped disaster for everyone and easily tops the list.
2. Valentines Day - How can a night for lovers make it on this list? Easily. With every restaurant this side of Veselka offering some sort of prix fixe rip off and every large nightspot hosting a Lonely Hearts club party, the evening for overly commercialized romance becomes a shit show where it is almost impossible to escape it, single or not.
3. Halloween - For all of the reasons listed above, and so much more. Any night that invites hordes of non-residents into New York in costume with the goal of drinking every bar dry is sure to create headaches for residents who just want to enjoy the Halloween parade. The slutty costumes do make it a wee bit more palatable though, but just just a tiny bit.
4. St Patrick's Day - What's not to love about thousands of off duty cops, fireman and people who love all things Irish spending the entire day watching a parade and then drinking domestic beers screaming Sunday Bloody Sunday in Third Avenue's many nondescript waterholes? Everything. This day is a nightmare for anyone who lives above 33rd Street and east of Lexington. God bless the Irish!
5. Gay Pride and Puerto Rican Day Parades (Tie) - Technically afternoon events that last into the evening, these parades upset the status quo of New York in comparable ways to our other nights. By being the best attended and most festive, the Gay Pride and Puerto Rican parades overrun their respective host neighborhoods, making it impossible for non-parade goers to visit restaurants and bars, or cross the street for that matter. Non-parade goers flee the City on the days they are scheduled, and spend the rest of the summer discussing why parades have no business being held in modern day New York City.