Welcome to Sift Happens, the latest in a long line of offerings for Times dining section junkies in which we preview and handicap tomorrow's restaurant review.
Tomorrow, @samsifton reviews Le Relais de Venise the newly opened Parisian import that sports a whopping three items--salad, steak, pie--on the whole god-damn menu. Oh, and per the restaurant's website, "There is a small selection of wines to accompany your steak frites and to round off the meal, you can choose from a selection of cheeses and a dessert list with profiteroles, meringue and other ice cream confections." Anyone still awake? For the second straight week, and in his fourth review ever, The Real Sift Shady will rule on a restaurant of zero import. Is there a way he could be more quickly penning himself into obscurity? Probably not.
PLAYBOOK: We don't care.
SIFT HAPPENS: Nope, still don't care.
Sift Happens: EVEN; Zero Stars: 3-1; Two: 5-1. The betting windows are closed this week. [A Review You Don't Care About; NYT; after ~8 PM]