On Friday, we gave away reservations to Allen & Delancey and Gramercy Tavern, and both yielded a surprisingly high number of contestants. The typical anniversaries, last-day-on-the-job, and 'it's been a bad week' stories poured in, but here are the best sad, funny, and at times desperate entreaties:
"My wife promised me sex if i got this reservation."
"I've been playing too much Grand Theft Auto IV this week; I need something that exists in the real NYC and not the fake one that's amazing enough to get me to leave my apartment." (winner)
"I had a bad match.com date yesterday (very quiet Austrian phD, many awkward silences) but am feeling good about the tennis pro I'm meeting up with tonight. It would be so much more romantic at Allen & Delancey. I promise to invite you to the wedding."
"Because I love food more than life itself. Because in spite of aforementioned fact I've eaten nothing but Shin Ramyun Noodles all week and could really use some market fresh foods. Because getting these reservations means my boyfriend will pay for dinner, and I can therefore eat something other than Shin Ramyun Noodles. Because I am an underpaid new media editor and you feel for me." (winner)
"Because my wife deserves it after helping her mother's sad transition into widowhood and for generally being a wonderful daughter and person."
"Because I'm about to leave New York for the culinary wasteland that is the rest of this country, and I would love to make this a farewell meal."
"Because today is my last day at my current job. A day long in the making - bringing sweet, sweet relief. And because, on this momentous day, I have no date. Maybe with a reservation at A&D I can entice someone to join me. Otherwise I'll end up eating the one egg left in my fridge and some old cheese...washing it all down with a forty. Sad."
"You guys should give the Allen and Delancy reservation to my new wife and myself. No, not because we are newly weds, but because my wife's boss fired her a week before the wedding (who does that? 1 week before the wedding). She's really bummed out about being unemployed right after the wedding and a good meal by Neal Ferguson is the only thing that will cheer her up."
"I’d love actually have a decent meal—I have not had a decent meal or much besides plump dumpling (the owner has our amex card on file at this point) for dinner and the overpriced salads from pax in months because I don’t have time!"