Tomorrow, that crazy hipster cat Bruni will attempt to make a review about LES institution Freemans matter. Today, the Eater oddsmakers have set the action as follows:
Zero Stars: 4-1If ever there was a review that will not move the needle it is this one. Freemans could not be more, to borrow a word from Tim and Nina, teflon if Taavo and William tried. This is especially the case because the food is overall very respectable and tends to satisfy a basic craving that has diners coming back. That being said, the restaurant has recently expanded, so perhaps The Bruni deserves credit for taking advantage of an opportunity to get off the beaten path. Whatever the back story, the safe bet is on an enthusiastic one star here. We have mixed feeling about rooting for two, as that is sure to make dinner time waits all the more crushing.
One Star: EVEN
Two Stars: 5-1
Three Stars: 300-1
Four Stars: 30,000-1
· Freemans [NYT; after 9:30 PM]
BONUS BRUNIAGE: Later today, a very special edition of On the House, in which resident proprietor William Tigertt recounts the story of having been Brunied. Don't touch that dial!