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DOUBLE BREAKING: Chipotle Rice Crisis Spreading!

We now have official word on RICEGATE 2006*. According to a Bowling Green-based Chipotle spokesman, "all NYC locations are without rice today thanks to a delivery snafu. I can't say when, exactly, but we hope to have it worked out by later this afternoon."

As you might expect, the state of affairs on the ground is slowly escalating to a state of full-on panic. A sampling of the hysteria:

From Bowling Green: There was an employee stationed at the end of the line today telling everyone that there was a "problem" and there would be "no rice all day." Hmmmm…. What a mystery."

And, the clincher, from Varick & Houston: "Holy shit! what the fuck!? just kidding, but the chipotle on varick and houston isn't serving rice either. i don't want to suggest that the rice was tainted by terrorists, but we can't rule anything out in this post 9/11 world.

At this time, we ask that you ensure your women and children are safe.
· VITAL BREAKING WIRE UPDATE: No rice at Chipotle [~E~]

*If reprinting, all caps, please; official color of RICEGATE: Pantone DS 73-1 C.