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Shake Shack: All New $1,000 VIP Service!

Since the dawn of the line, people have been trying to beat the line. From photo pools to congestion pricing to the oft-used make-the-intern-wait approach, it's been a real shitshow out there in Madison Square Park.

But now, it seems there is a more elegant solution. Observe:

The line at Shake Shack is littered with people from the biggest nearby office building, Credit Suisse, an investment bank filled with people who make way, WAY too much money. We all know that senior bankers sometime pay runners to go stand in line for an hour or two so they can pick up lunch for the gang. But one trader has apparently found another solution: bribery. According to a friend who works there, one Credit Suisse trader paid a Shake Shack worker $1,000 for the privilege of calling orders into the guy's cell phone. The lunch orders then get top priority and someone walks right up to the window to pick up the order.
Maintain. Composure. People.

There have been rumors of a special call-ahead phone inside the Shack, the 'manager's line' as the story has been told to us, the number of which Danny Meyer himself bestows upon those nearest and dearest to him. But this is a new twist. You have questions and so do we. To this CSFB genius we say come forward and tell us how it works. Anonymity, you can be sure, is guaranteed.