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E.U. Takedown: Reports from the (Dry) Field

We've received two reports on the East Village's beleaguered European Union, neither of them particularly praising of the downtrodden eatery's attempts at overcoming their lack of a liquor license/lack of prospects of ever getting a liquor license/lack of faith in peoples' wanting to eat there anyway, but, as always, with every criticism comes some that's constructive. General consensus seems to be that the food is as good as the service is bad. From one Eater operative, a "take em out back and shoot em" report:

The service was cartoon-bad. If they ever get a liquor license, they ought to take the whole front of house staff out and shoot em to put them out of the so-called "service" sector's misery.

The Hostess was lovely and gracious. Waaaaaaaay down hill from there.

Even in an empty room, I had to ask for a menu. I had to ask to have the dirty plates cleared. Had to listen to the staff refer to a customer's sunglasses as "gay-bans." The couple next to me fared no better.

Sitting with empty plates in front of me, another in the stream of incompetents asked me if I'd like to order food. I explained that I was done, but could I have the check. Amazing, she was able to produce a check. I paid $6 for someone else's fries and coffee and left. It was not my check.

A second report, after the jump, loves the food but finds the hostess' behavior, not to mention much of the staff's, to be verging on nonsensical.
Had much the same experience with the hostess as described in your 'not-Deathwatch' post. They ought to re-engineer her responsibilities if they want to get more people in the door. They had her sitting on a stool, blocking the door and re-writing the restaurant's hours on the glass. At 8 pm, it really gave the impression that they are not open -- so few people in the dining room that it could have easily been a staff meeting. When I tried to enter she said: 'You know we don't have a liquor license, right? And we're also not a BYOB. Are you here alone?' Some political/legal ass-covering to be sure, but Jesus, lady, why don't you just weigh me and give me an HIV test before charging me THREE DOLLARS for effing club soda?!? She's cute and French, so I also had trouble leaving at the end of my meal, as she was thronged at the door by tall, horny American men panting, 'If I could live anywhere, it would be Paris.' Or her pants. Either one.

Plus the signage on the windows says 'join us for breakfast, brunch or lunch while we wait for our liquor license.' Not exactly attracting the dinner crowd. And up until a few months ago there was a very not-anonymous Narcotics Anonymous meeting on that very block, so the teetotaling crowd must be aware of their presence. Marketing 101, folks.

Word on the street is they've been hearing that a lot. Maybe, hopefully, it'll stick.
· E.U. Takedown Update: So Very Dry [~E~]
· The Day in E.U.: Putting the Why in Denial [~E~]
· E.U. Takedown Day 168: "Bottle Club" Laws [~E~]
· E.U. Takedown: No BYO Says What Law? [~E~]

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