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Columbus 72, a Novel 1st Class Hot Spot for Trolling

You might think it beneath us to mock a press release. After all, is there any form of the written word more self-parodying? It's redundant, really, to point that out.

And yet. In our inbox today, a release touting the upcoming opening of new Upper West Side club Columbus 72 (awesome interior rendering, right) that we cannot ignore. Choice excerpts:

Dance-minded party goers will soon be trolling at their novel 1st class hot spot where they can live it up well into the night at the only dance club & private party venue based in the Upper West Side... 'Columbus72' patrons can expect great sound, roomy dance floor, memorable evenings and a special club experience missing from the west side since China Club headed south and Crane's closing.
Hell yes! Credit in this case is due not to the venue's PR team, who are no doubt cringing right now, but rather Picken Real Estate, which brokered the deal. Bravo. Oh, and for those who must: grand opening October 26.