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LES Nightlife: Totally, Completely Over

If you've hit the town on the Lower East Side on a recent Friday or Saturday night, you know all too well that the once up-and-coming neighborhood has up and went. As a friend remarks this morn, "I had this dude from Austin with us Friday night, and he was just like, 'Um, isn't the LES supposed to be awesome?'" Comes TeenDrama's Dennis Crowley to (literally) outline the problem:

I. Going Out on the Weekend Sucks

A. Downtown is Too Crowded

B. Upper East Side Kids Need To Go
1. We should start hanging out uptown!
2. If they're going to take our bars, we'll take theirs!

II. We Need to Find Some New Places to Hang Out

A. No More Starting an Evening at Any of the Following Venues:
1. Magician
2. Barramundi
3. Spring Lounge
4. Local 138
5. Lotus Lounge

B. Suggested new venues include:
1. Loreley
2. Upper East Side!
3. Tribeca!
3. Any place above Houston

Truer words were never charted. Adapt at your own risk.
· Pedometer Party [TeenDrama]