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Excerpting the Review Heard 'Round the World (Ninja)

"Confusing the point of a restaurant with the mission of a "Saturday Night Live" skit, Ninja New York deposits you in a kooky, dreary subterranean labyrinth that seems better suited to coal mining than to supping." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"[A] visually histrionic smorgasbord of undistinguished food and a discordant bill that can easily exceed $100 a person with tax, tip and drinks." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"Ninja acts like a Disney ride - Space Mountain under a hailstorm of run-of-the-mill or unappealing sushi - but charges like Le Bernardin." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"Ninja intends to evoke a Japanese mountain village inhabited by ninjas, a special breed of stealthy warriors. In this case they come armed not only with swords and sorcery but also with recipes, which may be their most dangerous weapons of all." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"Each party of diners receives its own nook, which quickly takes on the aspect of a jail cell as the ninjas, delivering and removing dishes, laboriously slide the latticed doors open and closed, closed and open, ad infinitum." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"A "fatty tuna steak," available á la carte for $45, was no larger than a cutlet, and while I expected o-toro, I detected no toro." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

"For a toddler with a trust fund and a yen for udon and maki, Ninja might be a valid alternative to the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant." -- Frank Bruni, NYT Food Critic

Oh, by the by, Frank Bruni is back from vacation.
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