MIDTOWN— The Serious Eats crew has such a bad lunch at newcomer Lucy's Cantina Royale they they pen an incredibly rare SE takedown: "My dad, a block of yellow cheddar, and our old microwave make a superior quesadilla. And for the $12 charged here, he could probably make 40...There are plenty of bad Mexican restaurants in this world, but few so audacious to charge this much. Lucy's is set up to prey on hapless commuters stranded at Penn Station." [SE]

NOHO— The good news is killer sandwich shop Crosby Connection now has T-shirts. The not so great news is, they look like the photo above. [EaterWire]

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

@williamtigrett was right. The Mermaid Inn crew's overhaul of the former Smith's space, Mermaid Oyster Bar, is a pretty impressive restaurant "exorcism/reboot." (What it looked like formerly.) And according to some early word from the Twitter, the Yelp, and the tipline, she's already winning people over in some other crucial departments (food, oyster) and letting some down in others (service, cocktails).

While Oyster Bar is similar to its sister restaurants in the EVill and UWS, this is the most casual spot of the group and has the heaviest focus on, ahem, the oysters—there are 16 varieties. With less of an eye towards New England then the others, the menu includes tacos, shrimp and crab pasta, fried calamari, and grilled swordfish. See the full menu below and check back for the early word.

A string of restaurant projects both big and small stood before the firing squad at last night's lengthy Community Board 2 meeting. Some survived the process, some did not, and many fates are yet to be sealed. Check in later this morning for a full post on the presentation given by the Standard. But first, Todd English, Delicatessen, Honmura An, and more:

1) The battle of the night came courtesy of the folks representing Oliver Todd, the proposed Todd English concept hotel at 25 Great Jones Street. The hotel team claims that this will be “the rare small boutique hotel that attracts the business traveler.” Their plans call for three restaurants: a 24-hour lobby café serving coffee, pastries, and light snacks, a tapas bar, and a full service Todd English signature restaurant. Said one rep, “it’ll be like staying at Todd’s house,” which given the recent headlines, makes one wonder who they're trying to attract in addition to those business travelers.

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

1) Boerum Hill: No (sadly!), the photo above is not of a second branch of Soho glamfest Delicatessen. It's a new restaurant opening on Hoyt and Atlantic to be called Mile End. [PLYWOOD]

2) Greenwich Village: Above, also check out the recent progress at Rabbit in the Moon, the new bi-level gastropub with a VIP lounge (true) originally scheduled to open this month on 46 West 8th St. The owners of STK and Pink Elephant are the minds behind this space, so expect British food but a club element. Update: PR checks in to clarify some details. Though the construction workers said there would be a VIP room, PR says it will just be a 40 seat private dining room. Also, "there will be no clubby atmosphere—the owners are really moving away from this, Chris is the founder of STK and no longer the owner, the décor will be styled like an English Country Home, and the restaurant will only be open until 2 AM." Fun! [PLYWOOD]

1) East Village: Always Hungry reports that Sigmund Pretzel Shop has opened on Avenue B. They offer both classic salted pretzels ($2.50) and more adventurous varieties such as Jalapeño-Cheddar ($3), as well as a variety of dipping sauces. Status: Certified open; 29 Avenue B; 646-410-0333.

2) East Village: Hea, the shuttered Japanese restaurant from the owners of Friend House has reopened as, that's right, another Friend House. Now there are two Friend Houses right across the street from one another. Joy! Status: Certified Open; 145 E 13th St., 212-982-1688.

3) Midtown: Midtown Lunch brings word that the Crumbs empire is expanding once again. For those seeking free grand opening cupcakes, it should be noted that the location is currently in its soft-open phase. Status:All signs point to open; 420 Lexington Ave., (no phone listed).

Sam Sifton decides that, despite its three item menu and costumed waitresses, French import Le Relais de Venise is "terrific", and it merits one star. Sifty seems to like the concept of the place, the setting, the idea of drinking plonk with cheap meat, the image of "women in uniform standing over dark wood and marble" more than the food. But here's what he says about the steak, and more importantly, the sauce that people line up for in London in Paris (and maybe, someday, though probably not, New York):

The beef is fine, sliced thin across the grain and as tender as cheap meat gets, a perfect midweek dinner with a friend. The fries rate higher on the crazy-good scale: salty and crisp, with tender interiors that aren’t mushy even when soaked in the sauce.

Community Board 2's November agenda is out, revealing that there are some exciting new projects in the hopper. The Grand Street Hotel is going up for the umpteenth time, as is Todd English's Oliver Todd, The Standard wants even more liquor licenses, Matthew Isaacs (ex Lotus) and Justin McManus are going for the Country Club space, and a restaurant called Cinq & Sept is hoping to open in the Ama space.

But that's all nothing compared to this: Il Buco is opening a second restaurant on 52 Great Jones Street.

It's a commonly accepted notion that one has to be a bit nuts to go into the restaurant business. In New York, chances of survival is slim, chances of scoring huge profits, even slimmer, making things fairly stressful. Given all this, some restaurateurs are in a category of their own, criminal. From the minor offenses like going batshit crazy on a plane and small time possession to getting charged with torture and murder, Eater now presents New York's Restaurant Industry Most Wanted. Any big ones missing? Add them in the comments so we have an exhaustive list.

12) Richie Notar: The Nobu managing partner recently joined the inflight embarrassment hall of fame after unfortunate mixture of pills and wine resulted in quite a scene. Passengers next to and behind him had to be moved from business to first class and eventually a flight attendant had to be stationed next to him. "Finally, the crew managed to get a pair of flex cuffs on him, though he tried to bite them off." While Notar wasn't arrested, it's an embarrassment for both man and restaurant.

[Diner dresses up for Halloween via Brownstoner]

SOHO— Cipriani's Upstairs has closed for renovations and will reopen around Thanksgiving. [GofG]

GREENWICH VILLAGE— To celebrate its first birthday, Philippe Express is offering $1 dishes of chicken satay and is for the first time offering alcoholic beverages. [W&D]

UPPER EAST SIDE— Crain's reports that Upper East Side restaurant Tiramisu is filing for bankruptcy. [Crain's]

CELEB CHEFDOM— Anthony Bourdain is getting his own cartoon show. Click over to Eater National to see the online only, six-part animated web series. [Eater National]

Of all the Neapolitan pizza and banh mi that 2009 hath brought, one of the more interesting additions to the city's culinary scene is an influx of new seafood options. On top of big name openings like Marea and Ed's Chowder House, there was the relocation and upgrade of Oceana, the debut of the lovely little lobster shack Luke's Lobster, and a few new dishes found in unexpected places (10 Downing, Minetta Tavern). Though the temps may be dropping soon, it's still a great time to be eating seafood—especially oysters and lobsters—so check out the newcomers.

1) Marea
240 Central Park South
(212) 582-5100
To his empire of northern and southern Italian stalwarts Alto and Convivio, Michael White has added a swanky coastal restaurant by the name of Marea. Maybe you've heard of it. They recently unveiled a "Le Collezione" menu at the crudo bar: 125 bucks gets you six crudi, five portions of pasta, and a dessert. Sam Sifton pretty much covers the rest.

2) Oceana
1221 6th Ave.
(212) 759-5941
Last month, Oceana, the well-regarded seafood temple, debuted its new corporate digs on 49th and 6th, which include a raw bar that is getting tons of love. The extensive oyster roster is the standout here, but you can't really go wrong with the "contemporary" items or much of the other stuff, either.

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1) NYU Zone: Roving photographer Will Femia notices that Patty & Bun, the new spot opening a couple doors down from Grey's Papaya on 8th Street, looks like it's progressing. Owners say it will open in under a month. There's also a new restaurant going in down the street at 47 West 8th. [PLYWOOD]

2) Long Island City: El Ay Si, a new comfort food spot from an E.U. and Butcher Bay alum Christopher Frakes will open in Long Island City, 47-38 Vernon Blvd., sometime this fall. [PLYWOOD]

This is the latest edition of Who Goes There? a regular feature in which Lost City's Brooks of Sheffield cracks the doors on mysteriously enduring Gotham restaurants—unsung, curious neighborhood mainstays with the dusty, forgotten, determined look—to learn secrets of longevity and find out, who goes there.

Click the image above to view the full photogallery.

I'm not sure why El Paso's bisected focus of Spanish and Mexican food strikes me as odd. It's a natural, given the historical connection between the two counties. Still you don't see the combination that often. Then again, you also don't see sleepy, old-fashioned restaurants holding their ground on West Houston, the division line between the nighttime trolling grounds of the Village and SoHo.